Self-Pity

I think everyone owns one – THAT hat! That “Self-Pity” hat! I’m not sure there are many of us who enjoy wearing it or purposefully put it on but every now and again it sneaks up on you and before you know it, there it is; owning YOU! I can honestly say - I loathe my self-pity hat! It’s ugly, it makes me feel worthless and uncomfortable and as hard as I try, it never seems to go away. Well, my friends, I’ve had a breakthrough!

I had THE WORST book signing at the Baltimore Book Festival on Friday!!! Let me get off topic for just a second…

My husband always tries to mend my broken heart, LOVE that about him. I mentioned above that I’m married to a superhero, right!?! Re-read my profile statement…it’s there. Yup, a superhero – he’s not weighed down by anything. Sure, he stresses out and often feels the pressures of life but his attitude towards it is one to be admired. He is, by every stretch of the imagination, MY superhero! He is always saying, “Don’t worry; tomorrow is a new day.” “It’s only money!” “It is what it is!” I love his cavalier demeanor and his chillax composure.

…so, I’m at the Book Festival and it’s raining – let me rephrase that, it’s POORING!!! Just when I think it can’t possibly rain anymore, the tent starts to leak, right on my table! Puddles are forming, my lunch box is soaking wet, my suitcase is wrapped in a plastic trash bag (thanks to the wonderful lady sitting next to me) and my hair looks like it’s going to be featured in the next episode of Fashion Police! It’s AWFUL!!! I paid $100 to go to this event and I sold two books! Ugh!! WORST BOOKSIGNING EVER!

Anyway, my self-pity hat was shining brightly that day I can tell you! But then, something happened. A man walked into the tent. No, that is not the shocking part!! No one really paid him any mind until he knocked two books, belonging to another author, off of his table and into a puddle. We’re not talking about a little drop of water, either; I’m talking a swimming pool for a frog kind of puddle. Two books, *plop* right into the water. That got everyone’s attention. He quickly picked them up and handed them to the author without a word, grabbed a few pieces of candy that he had sitting on his table and quickly walked away. At first I was appalled, “Can you believe that guy?” But, then it occurred to me (as I watched him return and come to my table for more candy) that he was homeless and simply in search of his next meal. I didn’t know who to feel worse for, the author who had to throw away two books or the homeless man who is eating candy for dinner.

[Enter superhero] I talked to my husband very shortly afterwards and he said something that really touched me. He said, “What if it was you? Who would you feel bad for, then?” Well, that’s easy, the homeless man of course! I can afford to throw away two books – I certainly wouldn’t want to, but if it were me that it happened to, I wouldn’t feel bad for myself! And, just like that, I started thinking about my miserable day…there is always someone who’s having a worse day, is mine really that bad? My hair…there are some people with no hair! My lunch box…there are some without a lunch in their bags. My suitcase…it only holds my books, there are some suitcases that hold everything in the world to some people.

God has truly blessed me and for that I will throw away my stupid, arrogant, ugly Self-Pity hat and I will be thankful for all of the blessings that I have been given. When I feel low and depressed, I will pray for those around me and far away that don’t have it as good as I do. And, when I feel like that hat is creeping out of the trash and back into my life, I will go out and make a difference in someone else’s life. Wait! I take that back, I will not wait for the hat to return before I do something nice for someone else. I will be on the lookout EVERYDAY for ways that I can help, comfort, love, support and/or simply be a shoulder for someone else. That is my vow to you and the world – I will not be so consumed with myself that I cannot see the homeless man who enters the tent until he knocks over books.