I'm wearing my tranquility hat today! It feels so good when it's on; I wish I wore it more. It's as light as a feather and it drapes over my whole body; it sits on my head like a halo and drapes over my shoulders, relaxing them, and gently sweeps down my back and falls gently on the floor. Except for the smile in my eyes and peace on my face, you wouldn't know that I'm wearing my hat, but I know! So, "Why?” you ask, am I wearing such a serene hat?! I'll tell you...
I had a dream...Nope, don't get your hopes up that I'm going to make a monumental speech that is going to be recited for generations - I'm going to leave that for the great historians in our textbooks. Anyway, I had an event last night. It was miles out of my comfort zone and it was late. For a week leading up to my event I dreamt that I didn't come home - I went and I didn't return! I don't know what happened, was it an accident? Did I run away? Did someone hurt me? I don't have the answer to any of those questions. In my dreams I was simply gone.
So, taking my dreams at face value, I started preparing. I made sure that I had plenty of gas in my truck and that my tires were filled properly. My spare was in working order and I do know how to change a flat. My cell phone was fully charged and I have a car charger waiting and ready. I had a contact person at my event, in case I was running late (or delayed somehow). All prepared on the outside, but what about emotionally?
For as long as I can remember I've kept a list of things that I want to do before I die. I took out my list, to see where I was at...I'd checked off only about seven things! But, in defense to my pathetic life, most of the things that I hadn't checked off were world travel and adventure kind of things. I'd checked off quite a bit of emotionally arduous tasks. I'd saved a man's life. I'm a published author. My children, all three of them, had listened to my teachings and accepted the Lord as their Savior! That was a big one that I'm very proud of but to solidify my dream even more, the last one happened the night before my event! Almost as if I was tying up loose ends before I left!!
Now it was time to cry! I talked to my husband (who was very supportive but still thought I was losing my mind) and I talked to God. I tried to say "Goodbye" as discreetly as possible, to everyone around me. I hugged and kissed my children and I made sure that they knew I loved them. I started living like it was my last day. By the time I left for my event I really felt at peace, both with my life and with the choices that I'd made. If I didn't return from this event I knew, in my heart, that I had lived a very happy life. As much as it pains me to think of leaving my husband and my children and I NEVER would by choice, I am at peace with leaving this world, if that is what my destiny holds.
So, in conclusion to this long, drawn-out oration, if today is my last day - THANK YOU! Thank you to everyone who ever shared a smile or a kind thought. Thank you to the naysayers and pessimists. Thank you to my teachers, students, classmates and fellow co-workers. Thank you to everyone who has ever crossed my path - you have made me who I am today!
- Faith H. Tydings
- First and foremost, I am a child of God! I am also the wife of a superhero who has loved and supported me since I was a child. I am a mother of three wonderful children who have taught me how to live, love and throw mini temper-tantrums and hissy-fits (especially now that they are older)! AND [very exciting] I'm an author! My book, A Little Yellow Star, is a Christian Children's book about seeing God in all things. There is more information at the bottom of my blog - Hope you'll check it out, and if you do, I hope you LOVE it!!