Oh Baloney!

I believe in God! I believe that He speaks to us and gives us signs to listen to, follow, be guided by and encouraged with, every day. I believe that He nudges us in the right direction when we are at a crossroads in life and don’t know which way to turn. I believe He gives us a swift kick in the pants when we disobey like children and, by the same token, I believe He rewards us when we’re good. I believe that He watches us from above like a super-natural being but I also think that he stands next to us, holds our hands, hugs us and loves us like a Father that is ever present in our everyday lives.

That being said…

I woke up the other day to make my husband his lunch and send him on his way. He’s been in the mood for baloney (I know…gross!), so that’s what I’ve been making him – two baloney sandwiches on whole wheat bread with olive oil mayo and American cheese (the whole wheat and mayo is my way of getting something healthy in him). Well, the other day, as I take that gross, red, plastic strip off of his baloney slice and throw it aside on the counter, for future disposal, I notice the little kiss that God just gave me…

…and I just have to smile! Thank you, Lord, for loving us enough to send small, silly little tokens of affection. Little tokens that say “I love you,” even if it does come from a gross little plastic baloney thing…does that thing even have a proper name?!

Playing in the Sand

If you could open up your childhood closet and try on all of your hats again, would you? Would you wear your ballerina hat just a little bit longer? How about your Train Conductor Hat? Maybe your Firefighter hat or your Bride hat is still in the closet somewhere? Maybe we could march around the living room together wearing our crowns and grasping our shields preparing to defeat the mighty china closet that looms over the village and then ride off into the sunset on the arm of the couch!

I’ve been a little stressed out lately! I’ve just recently started taking over the bills, I’m trying to come up with a way to make some extra money for my family and I’m dealing with a lot of “extended family” issues. Our baseball schedule is driving me crazy and I have a teenage daughter (‘nuff said). I’m tired, I’m overweight, I want to go shopping and I want to eat a lot of fried food and drink a large martini at a restaurant that cleans up my mess for a change!

Then I saw something…

…We were at a baseball game the other day and I was watching my best friend’s four-year-old son playing in the sand. It was the most precious thing! He was zooming around in his own little construction zone with all of his vehicles. He was making truck noises and using his imagination so idyllically and no one could permeate his perfect little world that he’d made in the sand, just for himself.

Then, of course, I got to thinking; why don’t adults act this way more often? Sure, we as adults can drink our stress away and sometimes spend a pretty penny to massage our stress into a short-lived oblivion but why can’t it be as simple as children make it seem? Why can’t we just pull out a few matchbox cars, take our shoes and socks off, sit in the dirt and play? Without a care in the world; without regrets and without a care or a thought of what tomorrow will bring. Just, simply, playing!

This is my goal; if not for the rest of my life, then just for today. I’m going to take my shoes off and play in the sand…will you join me?

I Love You To The Moon And Back

I love you to the Moon and back,

And all the stars between.

I love you through the Milky Way,

What a beautiful scene.

I love you to the Moon and back,

And all the planets big and round.

I love you in the depths of space,

I love you without a sound.

I love you to the Moon and back,

And all the comets that fall.

I love you through the atmosphere,

Oh, we seem so small.

I love you to the Moon and back,

Now it’s time to go to bed.

I’ll wake you in the morning light,

Now lay your sleepy head.

Self-Pity

I think everyone owns one – THAT hat! That “Self-Pity” hat! I’m not sure there are many of us who enjoy wearing it or purposefully put it on but every now and again it sneaks up on you and before you know it, there it is; owning YOU! I can honestly say - I loathe my self-pity hat! It’s ugly, it makes me feel worthless and uncomfortable and as hard as I try, it never seems to go away. Well, my friends, I’ve had a breakthrough!

I had THE WORST book signing at the Baltimore Book Festival on Friday!!! Let me get off topic for just a second…

My husband always tries to mend my broken heart, LOVE that about him. I mentioned above that I’m married to a superhero, right!?! Re-read my profile statement…it’s there. Yup, a superhero – he’s not weighed down by anything. Sure, he stresses out and often feels the pressures of life but his attitude towards it is one to be admired. He is, by every stretch of the imagination, MY superhero! He is always saying, “Don’t worry; tomorrow is a new day.” “It’s only money!” “It is what it is!” I love his cavalier demeanor and his chillax composure.

…so, I’m at the Book Festival and it’s raining – let me rephrase that, it’s POORING!!! Just when I think it can’t possibly rain anymore, the tent starts to leak, right on my table! Puddles are forming, my lunch box is soaking wet, my suitcase is wrapped in a plastic trash bag (thanks to the wonderful lady sitting next to me) and my hair looks like it’s going to be featured in the next episode of Fashion Police! It’s AWFUL!!! I paid $100 to go to this event and I sold two books! Ugh!! WORST BOOKSIGNING EVER!

Anyway, my self-pity hat was shining brightly that day I can tell you! But then, something happened. A man walked into the tent. No, that is not the shocking part!! No one really paid him any mind until he knocked two books, belonging to another author, off of his table and into a puddle. We’re not talking about a little drop of water, either; I’m talking a swimming pool for a frog kind of puddle. Two books, *plop* right into the water. That got everyone’s attention. He quickly picked them up and handed them to the author without a word, grabbed a few pieces of candy that he had sitting on his table and quickly walked away. At first I was appalled, “Can you believe that guy?” But, then it occurred to me (as I watched him return and come to my table for more candy) that he was homeless and simply in search of his next meal. I didn’t know who to feel worse for, the author who had to throw away two books or the homeless man who is eating candy for dinner.

[Enter superhero] I talked to my husband very shortly afterwards and he said something that really touched me. He said, “What if it was you? Who would you feel bad for, then?” Well, that’s easy, the homeless man of course! I can afford to throw away two books – I certainly wouldn’t want to, but if it were me that it happened to, I wouldn’t feel bad for myself! And, just like that, I started thinking about my miserable day…there is always someone who’s having a worse day, is mine really that bad? My hair…there are some people with no hair! My lunch box…there are some without a lunch in their bags. My suitcase…it only holds my books, there are some suitcases that hold everything in the world to some people.

God has truly blessed me and for that I will throw away my stupid, arrogant, ugly Self-Pity hat and I will be thankful for all of the blessings that I have been given. When I feel low and depressed, I will pray for those around me and far away that don’t have it as good as I do. And, when I feel like that hat is creeping out of the trash and back into my life, I will go out and make a difference in someone else’s life. Wait! I take that back, I will not wait for the hat to return before I do something nice for someone else. I will be on the lookout EVERYDAY for ways that I can help, comfort, love, support and/or simply be a shoulder for someone else. That is my vow to you and the world – I will not be so consumed with myself that I cannot see the homeless man who enters the tent until he knocks over books.

I won! I won!! An Award? For ME!?!

I've been blogging since March of this year and I've had a great time of it. It's a great way to release stress, vent, share my work and just write for the sake of writing. I love blogging. Well, today I was surprised by a dear friend, with a Liebster award! A what!?! I didn't know at first, either, but you have to love Google! It's an award given by friends who really like your blog (and you have to have fewer than 200 followers -  I DEFINITELY fit that criteria!) So now, with my 16 followers, my blog and my Liebster Award I am invincible!! At least while I'm writing this ;) So a BIG, HUGE thank you to Lisa Tortorello for this award! You can follow her blog at http://lisatortorello.blogspot.com/

There are just a few rules:
1. Thank the person who gave you the award and link back to them.

2. Give the Liebster Award to five bloggers and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.

3. Copy and paste the award on your blog.

4. Have faith your followers will spread the love to other bloggers.

5. And best of all – enjoy!

So, here's where I stray from the rules a bit! You know me - I dance to the beat of my own drum and when I smell a chain letter I'm ALWAYS the first to run in the opposite direction. But, on that note, I do have to give credit where credit is due and if that means that three wonderful ladies get some more traffic on their blogs, then color me a conformist...

The Liebster award is presented to blogs with less than 200 followers, but definitely deserve more! AND THE WINNERS ARE...

Christina Thompson - A day in the life of... (http://christina-adayinthelifeof.blogspot.com/)

Jaimie O'Dell - Little Birdie (http://littlebirdie-jaimielea.blogspot.com/)

Chanel Michelle - The Unknown Artist (http://unknownartist-annapolis.blogspot.com/)

My Firsts...

This picture was published in the College of Southern Maryland's Connection Magazine in the fall of 2006. That publication marked the very first time I had been published for anything, anywhere...it was a VERY proud time for us.

The very next semester, I had enrolled at the College of Southern Maryland and my Communication's Instructor was one of the editors for the Connections Magazine. He encouraged his class to submit something and this was my submission, which won a spot in the magazine in the Spring 2007 issue.

Am I Too Old For This?

I’ve gone back to college,

After being out nearly a decade.
Am I too old for this?

I’m not going for my bachelor degree,

Or even my masters.
No, I’m back for my associates.
I am too old for this!

I sit in my class,

And I’m surrounded by children –
And not the kind I’m used to.
I am so old for this!

My English Professor asks for an essay,
Done in MLA style.
What!?!
I am so old…but I can Google!

My Communications Professor is awesome.
Thank God he’s older than me!

They say there are no stupid questions,

Believe me – there are.
Maybe being old(er) is good.

I’ve survived almost thirty years of life,

I can survive this.
I am not too old!


And then, third times a charm, I submitted one more. This time a prose with a story line that was so "out of the norm" for me and that made it all the more fun! This was published in the Fall of 2007. Don't overthink it...

Sand Through My Fingers

      

I sit here on my beach alone, thinking.  I bury my feet in the cool sand.  I help myself to fistfuls, and watch as it slips through my fingers.  I feel the warmth of my skin as the mid-afternoon sun rests upon me.  I beckon the rays to take away the chill inside me, but it’s to no avail – I am alone here, thinking.

He asked and I ignored him, hoping he would think I didn’t hear.  He asked again, louder, this time taking my hands in his.  I was silent, trying to ignore him, again, but he saw the answer in my eyes.  The sadness in his face echoed in my mind, but I ignored that, too.  The conversation was over, for now, but I knew he’d return again with the same pleading eyes.

He reached out to me and I pushed him away.  All he wanted was to talk, maybe to tell me about his day.  Maybe to enlighten me on the subject of electricity, maybe just to hear me talk.  For whatever reason I pushed him away.  “I’m too busy right now,” I assured him.  “We’ll talk tonight,” I promised, but tonight never came and neither did our talk, because when the sun set I ignored him and pushed him away.

He tried to love me and all I wanted was to be alone.  In my heart I wanted to love him and feel his love in return.  In my soul I needed to be submerged in love – by his love, but I ignored him, pushed him away, and demanded to be alone.

He walked out and I watched in silence as he went.  In my heart I screamed “Stop!  Please don’t leave,” but the words never touched my lips.  “I’ll change,” I should’ve said, but would I?  So many nights I promised myself I would be different in the morning, but when the sun rose there was no change.  “It’ll be different tomorrow,” I told myself.  “Today is a bad day, it’ll be different tomorrow.”  I’m still waiting for tomorrow to come.

So I sit here, on my beach, alone - thinking.  Thinking about all the tomorrow’s that came and went.  All those tomorrow’s that slipped through my fingers.  The people who slipped through my fingers because I chose to ignore and push them away.  I sit here, on my beach, alone.  I pick up the sand and feel it slip through my fingers.  I sit here, cold and alone.

In a FUNK!

I’m wearing my funk hat today! I loathe my funk hat…it’s slimy and dirty, it’s heavy on my head but so hard to remove.  I can barely get out of bed when it’s on and it just makes me want to crawl back into bed once I’m out. It stinks! I can’t bathe when it’s on, so I might as well not bathe. It smells! I can’t eat when I smell bad things, so I might as well not eat. It’s heavy and uncomfortable and I won’t leave the house with it on and I hate playing with the kids when I’m wearing it…I might as well just go back to bed!

Why am I in a funk?! Take your pick…Irene wreaked havoc on my little county and because of it there has been no school for the kids and no work for me but instead of enjoying this beautiful weather and time off with my kids I’m depressed because money is tight and I haven’t been working so I don’t feel like I’m contributing and instead of being the best housewife in the universe I forgot to wash my husband’s work shirts and now there is a new found typo in my two year old book! Whew!

So, there you have it in one very large run-on sentence!

Tired...just tired!

Have you ever been so tired that you have no idea what hat you are wearing? That’s exactly how I’ve been feeling lately.

My daughter is almost 13 years old and she’s acting every bit of it! She’s KILLING me! She has no desire to spend any time with her family and when she does all I hear is fighting. She has an attitude that won’t quit and complaints that trump everything else in this world. Ugh! There’s my sTrEsS Hat!

The boys? Oh, yes! The Boys! They are restless and anxious and antsy and driving me insane! “Go OUTSIDE!!!” “But it’s too hot outside,” “We want to play the Wii,” “Mom, we’re HUNGRY!!” Ugh! I need a hat with earplugs!

My husband? I actually have no complaints about my husband…this time! Oh, there may be a serenity hat in here after all!

Let’s talk about family! There’s an old saying, “God gave us friends to apologize for the family he gave us!” Shock of all shockers, this quote has remained anonymous! I would probably refrain from attaching my name to it, as well. But, yes, I’m using it in my blog. Only because it’s a pretty safe bet that any family who is reading this blog is not the family I’m referring to.  I am so tired of the lack of support! I AM a published book author! Read it again…I AM A PUBLISHED AUTHOR!!! Why is it that I still have family who has not read my book? Why am I friends with them on Facebook but they won’t be a fan of my book’s fan page?? Family that won’t even acknowledge the fact that a book even exists?? Family that has NEVER even said, “Congratulations”? And, I’m not mad…I’m crushed! It breaks my heart that I have so little of a place in your heart that a simple “Congratulations” can’t even touch your lips. I’m hurt and it upsets me (I guess if you are reading this that’s probably what you want to hear, that you’ve hurt me, isn’t it?) – pretty sure this is my Sad Hat L

Now, let’s talk about “friends!” I put that in quotes for a reason and I’m sure you’ve figured out that the friends who are reading this are the true ones! No, fellow bloggers and readers, the “friends” I’m referring to are not friends at all. They are the people who pretend they like you then tell all of their friends what a #&$@ you are (fill in any four letter word you want, I’m sure they have all been used). The people who gossip about you behind your back, the ones who make Facebook uncomfortable and the ones you wish, every time they talk to you, that this is the one time that they are being sincere. But, I feel like I’m already broken, past the point of no return, and I find it hard to trust them and even myself when I’m around them. This is definitely my Discouraged Hat!

I woke up on Sunday morning, went to church, came home and went back to bed. I woke up around 5:00 and had dinner (my wonderful husband made it and it was DELISH!) then went back to bed. I woke up at 9:00 this morning and I still feel like I’ve been hit by a bus. I feel sluggish, lazy and tired…just plain tired! Ugh! I think I’m going to take off all of my hats now and go back to bed...

Angels with Paper Wings

"Hold them when they cry,"

I was advised.

A mother's kiss can heal any boo-boo,

I've discovered.

(And if that doesn't help, a colorful Band-Aid will)
Protect them until their wings are strong enough to fly,
Is all I've been instructed to do.
But what advice do you have for me,
When I have angels with paper wings?

Look both ways before you cross the street,
I demand.
Treat others the way they want to be treated,
I teach.
Don't talk to strangers,
I plead.
Go in the direction of your dreams,
I preach.

But how do I protect them from a broken heart?
How do I explain that life isn't fair sometimes?
How do I keep them safe when others want to do them harm?

In my dreams,
I can protect my angels from anything life brings their way.
But in reality,
I have angels with paper wings.

Camp!

She’s gone…for a week! No communication, no texting, no phone calls, nothing! For a whole week! I’m not sure who’s more excited about it; her father, her or me!?!

It still doesn’t hide my worry hat…

No communication! Oh, sure, I can send her letters and emails but I can’t get anything in return. Not even a nod from the camp counselor saying “She’s fine, Mom!” “Don’t worry, Mom!” “It was just a scratch and we took care of it just like you would, Mom!” Nothing, Nada, Zilch!

Wait! Look there, under my arm, what’s that? It’s my party hat!!!

On Monday, July 4, 2011, I will have NO children! We are dropping the boys off for the weekend and my husband and I are going out. We may see a movie…or three! We may go to a fancy (or, not so much) restaurant and order everything on the menu and have drinks to go along with it!! (Uh! I gasp at the foreign thought!)

Let’s be sensible, shall we?! It’s only a week and she probably won’t miss us at all! This week will blow by and, before you know it, we will all be back to our normal selves and all this camp business and worry business will just be a distant memory.

But, while it’s still fresh in my mind – Yes, waiter, I will have another martini!

My Worry Hat!

Oooooooh! My worry hat!! I'm not a huge fan of my worry hat! It's a hat that I try to pray myself out of wearing but more often than not, especially when my children are involved, I end up wearing it anyway. It's not at all invisible; everyone knows I'm wearing it! As hard as I try to lose this hat, it randomly appears and it never appears in a small way...NOPE! I have on my worry hat and EVERYONE knows!!!

I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. I'm also a believer that if you plan for the worst the best will happen. But, if the worst does happen then you've planned for it!

My youngest son is going on a field trip to the Washington National Zoo today. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE his teacher and I completely trust the chaperone for my son's group but...I'm also a believer that no one can care for my children the way that I can, so bring on the worry!

I've chatted with him about safety and being responsible. "Stay with your group and DON'T wander off!" But the thought of the group wandering off as my son's mind is wandering in the jungles of Africa, swinging from the trees with the other monkeys and not realizing that his group has left without him - that's what is running through my head!

So, I'm praying, and preparing...

The Baltimore Book Festival!

I am so excited. I just received word today that I will be a participant in the Baltimore Book Festival. I will be there on the first day – Friday, September 23, 2011 from 12:00 noon through 8:00 in the evening.  I will have a four foot table under the author’s tent and I will be selling and promoting my book. I will be having a drawing for some free books as well as free give-a-ways and plenty of fun stuff for the kids. I am very excited for this awesome opportunity and I hope to see some familiar faces out there. Check out the website for more information:  http://www.baltimorebookfestival.com/index.cfm?page=plan

My Patience Hat!

Today, I am wearing my patience hat. It’s flaming red in color and steaming hot to the touch. It is constantly on the verge of boiling over and it probably would if it weren’t for the two straps that keep it on  -  prayer and forgiveness. As well as, and most importantly, the clasp known as The Love of God that keeps everything fitting perfectly and keeps patience on the top of my head and not spilled and splattered all over the place!

It’s day three of Spring Break and the kids and I are having a great time. Today we all decided that we would go to the bike trail (did you hear that – “…we ALL decided…”?). We have a very cool bike trail that is within a few driving miles of our house. We park at the library and take the trail from there. It’s three miles long and if you don’t have someone to pick you up at the end of the trail, and you have to ride it back, then it’s six miles! Don’t be jealous of my mad math skills!! Afterwards, we always go to the library. It’s a great day all around and the kids love it.

Today, as the wind is blowing through my hair and my beautiful children are complaining that their legs are starting to hurt, I’m thinking that I’m going to go home and put on my Mother-Of-The-Year Hat!! Well, you know what they say about Best Laid Plans?? I don’t either but I’m thinking that it goes something like, “…always end in failure if there is a twelve-year-old girl involved!”

Why does her attitude come out when I’m trying to do something nice? Why can’t she save her attitude for her father or her friends?? Why do I ALWAYS get the brunt of that girl’s hissy-fits??? Ugh! She is riding a thousand feet in front of us. She’s not waiting for us at the stop signs or cross-walks AND every time she stops she’s texting someone! REALLY?! Come on! This is family time!

I have no idea what crawled up that girls britches but she wanted everyone, especially me, to know that she was not happy! So, with my patience hat securely intact, I reassured her that she would NOT be going to the library afterwards and she most certainly WOULD NOT be going to Rita’s after that (do you like how I sweetened the deal by adding Rita’s to the mix?). Well, after that, it was like she just took a whole bottle of Midol – she was great!!

So, we went to the library and Rita’s (I couldn’t say “No” at that point!) and now we are home planning what movie we are going to see. Hmmmmm!! Maybe I’ll go dig for my Mother-Of-The-Year Hat after all!

I'm On YouTube!

I’m wearing my technology hat, again! After several weeks of editing and re-doing my book trailer, I’ve finally finished…and it’s posted on YouTube!! I am so excited!

I’ve heard that Justin Bieber got his start on YouTube and I see it on t.v. all the time – someone who does something goofy or a cute dancing baby, who all get there 15 minutes from posting their video on the internet. Well, it’s my turn…

Of course, as with most of the hats that I wear, there is a flaw! I can’t figure out how to attach a link to it on my blog site. So, I’m putting it here, on my actual blog, because that’s all I can figure out how to do! So, enjoy, and PLEASE, Please, please help me spread the word by passing it on to your friends.

Thank You!

The link to the actual YouTube video is:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JpJn147ACsE&feature=channel_video_title

My Baseball Hat!

Today I am wearing my baseball hat! I love my baseball hat. It fits perfectly on my head, with my ponytail bobbing out the back (I can’t wear a fitted one, my hair is too big) and my sunglasses on. Most of the time I have on a red baseball hat with a big white “W” embroidered on the front. Sometimes I switch it up and wear my visor but it’s always red and it’s always adorned with a “W”. Paired with my score book in hand, I am ready for the game…

If you can’t tell, Little League Baseball has begun! Practice actually started a few weeks ago, but last night it was official – Let the Games Begin! It truly feels like the kickoff to Spring. It’s still chilly and we get rained out almost every other game. But, the birds are chirping, the flowers are blooming, the lime is perfectly lined, the orange dirt is nicely raked and the bases are pure white…it’s ball time!

I have two boys who play. My daughter used to play softball, but she’s taken a break to do gymnastics this season. My oldest son is 9 and he’s playing in the Minor Leagues this season. My youngest is 7 and he’s in Instructional still. My husband coaches the Instructional team and assistant coaches the Minor team…so we are there A LOT!!

Oh, I’m the “Team Mom!” Which, really just means that I keep score and I have to be the Big Bad Boss Man in the dugout! I really love it, though! You get to know the kids and they get used to your quirks, by the end of the season we are a well oiled machine.

Last night is was my 7 year old son’s first game. He was only up to bat twice and the first time he struck out. The second time, however, he hit two foul balls and then a line drive down the first base line…right into the glove of the first baseman! OUT!! Poor thing! But, he hit the ball and he was very happy.

Tonight, it was my 9 year old son’s first game. It’s a little more cut-throat in the Minor’s but I think, for as young as this team is, they held their own pretty good. In the last inning, my son pitched for the first time. He had a bit of trouble getting the ball over home plate, but he did his best and his best wasn’t all that bad. He even has a few strike-outs on his resume now!!

So, it’s been a great week for baseball and I’m looking forward to this season. But, for now, I’m hanging up my baseball hat and hitting the sheets. Good night!

If Today Is My Last Day...

I'm wearing my tranquility hat today! It feels so good when it's on; I wish I wore it more. It's as light as a feather and it drapes over my whole body; it sits on my head like a halo and drapes over my shoulders, relaxing them, and gently sweeps down my back and falls gently on the floor. Except for the smile in my eyes and peace on my face, you wouldn't know that I'm wearing my hat, but I know! So, "Why?” you ask, am I wearing such a serene hat?! I'll tell you...

I had a dream...Nope, don't get your hopes up that I'm going to make a monumental speech that is going to be recited for generations - I'm going to leave that for the great historians in our textbooks. Anyway, I had an event last night. It was miles out of my comfort zone and it was late. For a week leading up to my event I dreamt that I didn't come home - I went and I didn't return! I don't know what happened, was it an accident? Did I run away? Did someone hurt me? I don't have the answer to any of those questions. In my dreams I was simply gone.

So, taking my dreams at face value, I started preparing. I made sure that I had plenty of gas in my truck and that my tires were filled properly. My spare was in working order and I do know how to change a flat. My cell phone was fully charged and I have a car charger waiting and ready. I had a contact person at my event, in case I was running late (or delayed somehow). All prepared on the outside, but what about emotionally?

For as long as I can remember I've kept a list of things that I want to do before I die. I took out my list, to see where I was at...I'd checked off only about seven things! But, in defense to my pathetic life, most of the things that I hadn't checked off were world travel and adventure kind of things. I'd checked off quite a bit of emotionally arduous tasks. I'd saved a man's life. I'm a published author. My children, all three of them, had listened to my teachings and accepted the Lord as their Savior! That was a big one that I'm very proud of but to solidify my dream even more, the last one happened the night before my event! Almost as if I was tying up loose ends before I left!!

Now it was time to cry! I talked to my husband (who was very supportive but still thought I was losing my mind) and I talked to God. I tried to say "Goodbye" as discreetly as possible, to everyone around me. I hugged and kissed my children and I made sure that they knew I loved them. I started living like it was my last day. By the time I left for my event I really felt at peace, both with my life and with the choices that I'd made. If I didn't return from this event I knew, in my heart, that I had lived a very happy life. As much as it pains me to think of leaving my husband and my children and I NEVER would by choice, I am at peace with leaving this world, if that is what my destiny holds.

So, in conclusion to this long, drawn-out oration, if today is my last day - THANK YOU! Thank you to everyone who ever shared a smile or a kind thought. Thank you to the naysayers and pessimists. Thank you to my teachers, students, classmates and fellow co-workers. Thank you to everyone who has ever crossed my path - you have made me who I am today!

My Technology Hat

I am wearing a hat that I love and hate at the same time - my technology hat!! Sometimes it's fun and makes me feel energetic. Sometimes I feel like I can conquer the world in my hat, but other times it brings me down. It ties me up and confuses me. Sometimes it makes me feel like I'm the stupidest person in the world, when I have on this silly hat! Sometimes this hat makes me productive and accomplished. Sometimes it makes me lazy and lethargic. Sometimes I want to throw it out the window and be done with it all together, and then I get a call from my dearest friend and I think, "Oh, it's not so bad!"

 I just got a laptop - I know, I know, it's like 2011; "Welcome to the planet Earth, Faith!"

So, I'm blogging on BlogSpot! I'm Skype-ing!! Have you Skype-d? It's AWESOME!!! It is just about the coolest thing ever. I made a book trailer on my new laptop using Movie Maker...not so fun, but the end result is going to be amazing! If I can get to the end result soon...

Of course, Facebook is taking up my time. Don't forget Twitter (tweet, tweet!). So what's the problem, you ask? Well, I'll tell you - Mount Saint Ugh!! That's what is the matter - the mountain of laundry that I've been sitting next to for the past three and a half hours. I told myself that I was going to bring my laptop into my room, turn it on and just leave it on my bed INCASE anyone tried to contact me. And, as I was waiting, I would put away my laundry...

Well, three and a half hours later, I'm setting up a new blog on BlogSpot (or is it Blogger.com!?), Skyping with my friend and posting anything and everything on Facebook and Twitter!! So, wait...is it BlogSpot or Blogger?? Ugh! Technology!?!

 Darn this hat that is technology! I have to go, this mountain is going to bury me alive if I don't tame it NOW!!!